12. june o1. 12oo am.

Last week of official high school begins tomorrow.

I feel as though I've come out on top mentally with an open, unique and perspective mind.

11. april 17. 1125pm.

I watched a video moments ago which left me absolutely breathless. In a world full of the overly done and likewise minded it is hard to come across something solely unique and intriguing. A man by the name of Theo Jansen has managed to leap off the edge of ordinary into a depth of the extraordinary so deep the bottom is unreachable. With a mixture of motion and art he leaves your imagination full of lovely thoughts and your expression wide-eyed and curious.

This is a beautiful site for your eyes themselves upon.

1o. april 17. 15o pm.

Okay well I haven't written in a long time because I have been busy and lazy...Since March I've gotten a lot of great photos back. As well I did my verve girl photo shoot which was nonetheless AMAZING as well as the photos. I am praying I get the front cover!! I'm on my third day with no fast food or pop! I just need to start working out hard core. I want a hot bod for the summer, let's see if that is at all entirely possible. I will write MOAR later.

o9. march 30. 91o pm.

Today was the first day back to school. I had the lovely joy of sleeping in. I got a ton of compliments on my silver hair, cool. Went to class, can't remember much. The end of that. Who cares.

I'm feeling somewhat extra lovely on this evening. I sent out a submission to Ion Magazine today. It was a review of Cotton Jones, who have helped to add to this lovely atmosphere this evening.

"It is very rare to come across an artist whose sounds lift up your heart like a balloon, play with it in the wind ever so softly and then leaves it to bleed amongst the broken branches of a wilted tree. A little band with big talent out of Maryland can do just that. Cotton Jones is the name of this fairly unknown group whose members include Michael Nau and Whitney Mcgraw from the indie pop band Page France. However in 2008 the band broke up to focus on the new and upcoming group The Cotton Jones Basket Ride. The group later shortened it's name, leaving their listeners with a title that gives you a country feel without the cowboy hat. Cotton Jones new album "Paranoid Cocoon" gives out ten great tracks, perfect for an afternoon of retrospective in the sunshine. Michael Nau's voice is dreamy and untainted with the occasional addition of vocals of Whitney McGraw who adds her own gentle edge. This twist of slightly psychedelic, seemingly effortlessly beautiful music will leave you breathless on the bus ride home and feeling as though the world just got a little lovelier. "

http://www.myspace.com/thecottonjonesbasketride

They are just too lovely. I could fall asleep to them, fleet foxes and Paris 2004 by Peter, Bjorn & John.

I enjoyed a cup of coffee and the company of my 3 angels who are gracing the couch with their eyes shut nearby. It's nice to have a night feeling as though I am actually alone, although definitely not. I guess it's just that I am not being bugged.

Anyhoo, I did a photoshoot today, it went by fast. My make-up looks pretty. I feel really really great about myself today.

Goodnight world. :)

o8. march 29. 214 am.

Well I've definitely been up since 8:30 am. Last night Nina and I went to Harleys in Richmond for Josh's arrival party. It was decent. I stayed the night and in the morning we went to Ihop and then I got dropped off at my hair appointment. My hair looks killll... Then I went for a tan, bought some nails and some make-up. Taylor came over after that when I got home. We went for dinner at Cactus Club and I spent 30 bucks on a meal (jack daniels ribs w/ asparagus and mashed potatoez). Best thing of my life. Then we got some muffins and went to her place to watch Milk. We had a nice 2 (ish) hour conversation and then watched the movie. It was pretty good, although very sad. I got home around 1:45, maybe even later. And yep that's it. Too laze to say moar. PEACE

o7. march 27. 1217 pm.

So..yesterday I just sat around on the computer, downloaded music and played halo. Nothing too interesting. Nick came and picked me up between 6 and 6:30 and drove me to Richmond for some food. We got starbucks and I got some flaming wok food. Soooo good. Then he drove me to Kwantlen and I did a shoot for Ming Itakura's clothing line, a series of jackets. I got one of the photos from last night today. It was fun and Nick got to see firsthand what I do when I model. Afterward he drove us back to his place and we just chatted and caught up and he played me some of his songs. He is very very good! Yep and in about 10 minutes Danielle and Tiffany are coming to my house for make-up etc. and we're doing a crazy creative high fashion shoot. I'm excited to finally meet Tiffany after talking for so long about a shoot. Then I have no clue what I am going to do afterword, probably hang with Jade. Woooo.

o6. march 26. 1139 am.

Last night was fun. Kaylee and Cassy came over for some drinks. I got decently drunk off of some black label beers. Not the yummiest choice but the easiest and fastest way to loosen up. I had a really REALLY weird dream last night about my dogs. I fell asleep with all of them surrounding me so that probably had something to do with it. Okay, here we go:

I was at home and my mom was home still etc. It all had to do with Migeums family in Korea coming to take him back. I guess in my dream Migeum used to live with a group of street dogs called "The Bruces". WTF?! And they all looked identical to him and ran around the streets of Migeum. (he is named after the area he came from in Korea) They came back to take him to their clan, meaning a bunch of dogs came to my door. I spent the remainder of that day in my dream crying dreaming about Migeum and wanting him back. The End.

I'm cool, I know. I had a driving lesson this morning. Then I had some apples and crackers with cheese and meat and fed my dogs. I'm shooting tonight at Kwantlen.

o5. march 25. 112o pm.

I'm too tired to write much today. I did a shoot this morning at Taylor's house. Her mom and her picked me up this morning at 10 to 10. I was half asleep. She did my make-up as I closed my eyes and tried not to fall asleep. We did a quick and easy shoot as I yawned my brains out. Afterward I lingered for a bit, Taylor made me a nice sandwhich and I left to catch the bus home. I walked for about 10/15 minutes and ran and caught the bus just in time. My feet locked up and I could barely walk from the bus stop home. I went home and relaxed for a few hours, cleaned myself up in the tub. Then Jade came over and we had a great big salad and some crackers with cheese and meat. Then a couple cups of coffee and icecream. Then we walked over to Hawaiian Beach tanning salon and I tanned for 6 minutes. Then we walked all the way to the gym where I worked out on the elliptical and did some push ups. I saw Kaylee for the first time in 32432432 years as she was on her way to yoga. Then afterward Jade and I walked home. I got the photos already from my shoot today. Taylor and I put up a casting for a lingerie shoot, tasteful of course, that should be interesting. I sent her some good music. Decent day, I'm tired.

o4. march 23. 1o24 pm.

time flies

I sit tight, don't want to miss the show
I hang on, don't want to miss my prime
'Cause time will fly, upon my baby's back
Time will fly, upon my baby's back
Stay a while, my baby wants me to
Don't you go, my baby begs me so
But tide will dry, upon my baby's back
Tide will dry, upon my baby's back
I get weak
I get weary
I miss sleep
I get moody
I'm in thoughts
I write songs
I'm in love
I walk on
Fingers crossed, my time is coming now
Don't you go, my baby begs me so
Time will fly, upon my baby's back
Time will fly, upon my baby's back
I get weak
I get weary
I miss sleep
I get moody
I'm in thoughts
I write songs
I'm in love
I walk on

o3. march 23. 325 pm.

march 23. small rant -
respect/ younger girls..
"Okayy...I dont know if anyone has felt this way other then me but when i was in grade 8 all the grade 12s would treat us like [censored] and we would be scared shitless of them, and now.. as an older girl i can say the little grade 8s will walk right into me and not even say sorry! i think we need to be harder on them and they need to learn to respect girls( and guys) older then them and to stop thinking their the [censored] when there only 13. all you youner girls reading this you better get ready for next year! ha"

Okay so I read this on the lamest facebook application ever - "the bathroom wall". I think whomever wrote this needs to learn some life lessons or get their morals straightened out. When I was young I had it worse than anyone else and I mean it. I remember girls waiting outside my locker to beat me up, girls following me down the hallway yelling at me for dying my hair the same color as theirs, girls chasing me down the street, girls calling me shit stains and so many other horrible names.

If it hadn't been for people like this in my life I wouldn't be the person I am today. It's really hard to get past caring about what others think of you. It's only when you come to realize that it doesn't matter that you can take pride in yourself for knowing this.

For an individual to say that younger girls need "respect their elders" when they are maybe four years older is ridiculous. I think things will change when those younger girls are 52 and those of us four years older are 56. There's an obvious large difference between girls in grade eight and girls in grade twelve. This difference seems to me to be only the fact that younger girls are innocent and aren't solely out to respect people that don't treat them with respect.

If you ask me: you don't demand respect from others, you earn it.

I used to be the total opposite of the way I feel about younger girls now and act immaturely and treat them the way I was treated. It's great to know I can see past what I was and the way I made them feel myself. Call me a hypocrite if you like, I believe it's great to have the ability to see outside the box. The feeling of having younger girls look up to me is great and admire me for my accomplishments rather than have them scared of me because I'm a horrible person.

So congratulations to those girls my age and whoever posted that. You showed us the real you.

o2. march 22. 1145 pm.

march 22. shoot with john gatus, coffee with nick
Today I bussed out to Richmond to meet John at 12:45 at Richmond Center. We drove out to Vancouver to a beautiful little park on the water almost underneath the Cambie St. bridge. We did a shoot for a local designer named Ming to showcase some great jackets she created. I met two Samantha's who modeled rain jackets and boots. They did the shoot with Mings cute golden retriever Honey. There were dogs and dog poop everywhere. It felt like the first actual day of Spring today so I was overjoyed and easy-going about doing an outside shoot. My quick shoot was done on a cool walkway in between two buildings. The walkway was made up wooden pieces, a part of which was like a piano and made noises when you walked across it. It was so unexpected and so cool! I modeled a black jacket (as seen wearing in the picture above) with some bright red lips. Afterword we drove to Richmond to go to Milestones. I got an awesome chicken caesar salad and then John dropped me off at the bus stop. Later that evening Nick and I drove to Starbucks and had a much needed chat over coffee. All in all it was a decent day and I am hoping for more sunshine for my shoot tomorrow.

Today's Theme Song: tunnelvision by here we go magic

o1 - march 22. 114o pm.

about me:The only thing I can really tell you about me is that I love myself. When I say I love myself, I don't mean that I am self-centered or that I think I am better than others. When I say that I mean that I am overjoyed by being who I am and the fact that I am not afraid to show the world that. I encounter many people full of prejudice, fake persona's and with the assumption that being yourself just isn't enough. I'm not interested in being friends with people who are different around others or who act a certain way to please a certain person. There are 6 billion people on this planet with the ability to enjoy every vein and every vessel of my soul. I promise you that I am genuine and will never be anything but myself around you. Take me as I am as I will take you as you are.